And so my confinement nanny left 2 weeks ago, which relieved much of my mental stress. It IS really hard to live with another person in the house for a period of time, which is why I'm glad that we're staying alone.
Been SUPER busy adjusting to taking care of X by myself. All the routines, the crying, nappy changing, shit cleaning, urine squirting, coaxing, carrying, puking. OMG.
Thanks to Em, I managed to muster my courage to step out of the house with the little fishball. It was alright, just need to run to the nursing room as and when. Less freedom, more work (Eg: pushing the pram, cannot stay out for too long, carrying the baby bag..)
And I took a step further by driving X (Alone) to Robertson for lunch with Stella. Haha... Crazy me.
And today, X decided to give me a hell of a hard time. Cried and cried for no reason and the only thing I can do to soothe him is to put him in a carrier (which is why I can free my hands for typing as he is lying on me).
I reckon he was overly tired and couldn't get to sleep as he was too engrossed looking at the lights at compass point. Haha...
Life of a mom. Seriously. I miss those days where I can just go wherever I like, wear nice clothes (damn it I NEED TO LOSE THE TUMMY!), drink alcohol, drink alcohol and drink alcohol whenever I like.
Damn, THINGS WE DO FOR OUR KIDS. But seeing him smiling at me is the biggest reward and it affirms that all I've done and sacrificed is worth it.
Oh btw, I cut his nails for the first time today! I promised him no mittens after the nailcut and he didn't really struggle. ;)
He had his first month celebration at my dad's place & another under our block. Seriously those people who have not met me when I was pregnant couldn't recognize me? (Got so kua zhang ma?)
"Wah!!! Lane ah! I cannot recognize you leh! Y u put on so much weight ah?" (NB Because I got pregnant and JUST had a baby a month ago.)
"Wah! Y u put on so much weight????" (Knnccb u go give birth see you put on weight anot)
"Wah! Lane ah! Why you so round?" ( _|_ )
"Wah! Lane ah! You give birth 1 already so fat, give birth 2 u die la!" (Ultimate loh....) Followed by "So when is the 2nd one?" (Ultimate faggot!)
Aei insensitive and unforgiving people, firstly, I put on ~20+kg during my pregnancy. I ate whatever I wanted because I wanted to be a happy mommy and let my baby be happy. And I was hungry la!
Secondly, LOOK AT ME. I was already big boned and big sized to start with. I had super water retention during my pregnancy and honestly IMO I have already lost the water weight (maybe 1/2 of it) as compared to being pregnant. They just have not seen me at my fattest PEAK.
Thirdly, YES LAH I WANNA LOSE THE WEIGHT ALSO LEH FAGGOTS. But I had c-section (aka an operation) , cannot massage my tummy and cannot exercise. So wtf do you want me to do? As if I enjoy being fat and having a tummy.
Fourthly, being a mama is a HUGE SACRIFICE to any woman. You get hormonal imbalance (I am suffering from postpartum hives), you lose your figure, those people that had natural birth even lose the elasticity of their vagina, you develop SUPER HIDEOUS stretch marks (I have them on my breasts, belly button, lower tummy, hips, thighs and back) and I'm sure the list goes on! So CUT THE NEW MAMA SOME SLACK! It has only been 1 month!
Gosh man I don't understand these people being SO INSENSITIVE. and some are even women themselves (and not skinny to begin with also loh).
Enough of ranting. I'm dealing with these insecurities openly and trying to take it well. Not depressed but filtering what these people say. I might just laugh it off but it hurts and it makes me insecure. I will try my best to slim down but I know it will take time :(:(:(
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